Find Marko

Mark Crocket Campaigning in Tampa

Finding Mark Crockett is something like that old game, "Find Waldo." Parades come and go, festivals happen, radio appearances are scheduled, but where's Marko? It would be easy to assume he's hiding out at his campaign headquarters, except he has no campaign headquarters. 

So where is he?

He's a stealth candidate, hoping to find a place in Mitt Romney's suit pocket, believing a vote for Mitt will be a vote for him. Unfortunately, I don't have access to Mitt's person, so I have no photo of Marko staring up from the darkness of that pocket. But I have the next best thing, a photo from Tampa.

Recently I received word that Marko is stalking Mitt at the Republican convention. Normally, a candidate for county mayor sixty days before the election would be looking for votes in Salt Lake County. That's because it would be easy to assume that most of the Republican Delegation will vote for him.  (Though his popularity with the Utah Republicans who know him best is suspect.) 

So why is Marko in Tampa?

Silly you, because a convention center in Tampa is as close as he can get to Romney's suit pocket. That consideration is the one and only pillar of his campaign strategy. 

......

A while back I used this blog to ask the question, why do people like Ben run for public office, and why do so many quality people attach themselves to his campaign? My answer back then was that they were effectively crazy; all of them born without that essential human characteristic called "self interest."

Now I'm not so sure.

Recently I discovered that the campaign had a acquired a red school bus from Afton Wyoming. 

A red school bus?

Yes, Justin, our campaign manager, and Joey, or finance director, drove up to a remote village in Wyoming, bought a bus for a song, and then drove it back to our campaign headquarters. 

Men reading this blog will identify with the glorious wonder of that ridiculous mission. All of us have a gene requiring us to do immature things with immense enthusiasm. (I remember bringing home a ruined 1949 GMC pickup and being astounded when my wife didn't see its potential.) 

Only in political campaigns can a man have "cover" for this kind of escapade. Imagine Ben walking in his front door and casually remarking to Julie, "Hey hon, I picked up an old red school bus. It's sitting in the drive way." 

Yes, like that's ever going to happen. My marriage didn't survive a '49 GMC pickup, so what marriage would survive an old red school bus?

But in a political campaign Ben can waltz in the front door and say, "Julie, the campaign just bought an old red school bus," and she's likely to respond with little more than a raised eyebrow. 

Ahhh, now I fully appreciate the appeal of a political campaign, and understand why most candidates are men.