The Week That Was

This photo is on the Crockett Facebook page. I've taken liberty with what appears to be the unhappiest group of Republicans on planet earth. It was purportedly taken at a yard party, but it could just as easily be a funeral.

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As you know this past week was dedicated to playing the role of a staffer. Now the pros are back in town so my cameo role comes to an end. My week was spent making phone calls using a program that displays a profile of the person we're hoping to contact. 

Out of those hundreds of calls let me offer three that were particularly memorable. 

One

After a string of unanswered attempts a man answered the phone. I glanced at the screen and realized he was an elected Republican official. There had to be a mistake. Would my next call be to Orrin Hatch? 

I played dumb, which for me is not a stretch. Following my canned pitch I asked if he could volunteer. (That's when I winced.) "Sure," he said, "I like Ben. What do you want me to do?" 

"We have a huge demand for yard signs," I said tentitively, "and we're behind with delivery, could you help with that?" 

"Sure," he said, "but next week there's a council meeting, after that a party get-together. Would later this week be alright?"

"Yes," I replied, "It would be fine." 

And so he came, and so he delivered. Never let it be said Republicans don't follow through. 

Two

The phone rang and a woman anwered. I recited my appeal and she responded with kind words. "Could you volunteer? I asked. 

She answered in a definite tone, "I'm a doctor and a single mother. I have sixty-hour weeks and get only Wednesdays off. I'm on call at three hospitals."

"Point made," I said, "a yard sign would be more than enough."

There was a significant pause before she continued, "No, I should do this. Put me down for Wednesday of next week." 

Three

A woman picked up. After my introduction she replied with praise for Ben. "Could you volunteer?" I asked.

"No," she said, "I'm taking physics and chemistry this semester. I'm hoping to graduate in June with a degree in geology." 

I referred to her profile and chuckled at the obvious mistake, "Our database says you're eighty-five years old."

"Exactly," she said. "that's why I have to hurry up and graduate."