KFRT Radio

“Welcome to KFRT radio - K Fright - ‘right radio for the far right!’ Today we’re hosting Mark Crockett, candidate for Salt Lake County Mayor. Hello Mark.”

“Hello LaVar, nice to be on your program.”

“So tell me Mark, why do you think you’re prepared to be mayor of Salt Lake County?”

“Oh, that’s easy LaVar. I’ve got business experience, just like Mitt Romney. And not like my communist opponent, Ben McAdams, who doesn’t have business experience. He’s not at all like Mitt Romney, who, like me, has lots of business experience... just like me.”

“So I understand. Aren’t you the head of somethin’ called Vicki Partners?”

“Actually, it’s Vici Capital Partners, and that’s pronounced “vay shay.”

Oh, pardonne moi Mark, sounds a little French to me.”

“IT’S NOT FRENCH! On my web site I clearly state it means to ‘overcome, surpass and conquer...’ all good Republican things. Besides, LaVar, who are you to complain about something made up that sounds French.”

“Ouch. But a nice lead in to that little temper of yours.”

“What temper?”

“Well the Trib says that as a councilman you were ‘simmering,’ ‘scolding,’ ‘red-faced,’ and ‘quick tempered.’ Is that why you didn’t get reelected?”

“A big no, Lavar! The Trib prints nothing but lies. My disposition is always considered and statesmanlike... so there, jackass.”

“If it wasn’t your temper, then why did you lose in 2008?

“The Obama landslide!”

“Really? Landslide?”

“Yes, and a big one. How was I supposed to survive against that?”

 “But Obama carried the county by just eight one hundredths of one percent.”

“Exactly! Everyone knows a Democrat with more than 20% of the vote is just stealing from Republicans. They’re a fluke robbing us of what’s rightfully ours.”

“And that will change this time around.”

“Brilliant observation, you drive time genius. Romney will win big and give me what’s rightfully mine, because he’s a businessman, just like me, and not like Ben McAdams, who isn’t a businessman.”

“And no one would vote for you, Mark, simply because of who you are?”

“My mother maybe. I mean, let’s face it LaVar, I’m a tough guy to like. But who needs love when you have an (R) after your name.”

“Or a stick up your....beeeeeeeep”

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