I have no idea how many volunteers receive her calls. For their sake, I hope they are many. It was a warm and generous moment that elevated my entire day.
On this one occasion, however, I processed her call in a slightly different way. As Julie said "thank you" in her own inimitable way, I began to feel a little guilty.
I caught myself enjoying her kind words perhaps a bit too much. After all, Julie and Ben are exceptional people, and it's hard not to experience their gratitude as a point of pride. When I describe either of them as a "friend," some part of me feels as if I'm bragging.
So in the middle of my response to Julie I paused for a moment. I thought to myself, "Yes, I'm fond of you both and your gratitude is important to me. But I'm not doing this out of friendship, or because I want you to be happy. Though both of those things are true, and they're reason enough."
"But how do I put this in words?"
"Julie," I said, "you probably shouldn't be thanking me. As much as I enjoy your gratitude, I don't deserve it. Working on this campaign is exactly what I should be doing. This is not a favor, it's a matter of conviction. No part of me wants to do anything else. So really, I haven't sacrificed anything."
I'm not sure Julie understood a point I was making so very poorly. I sounded like an ingrate, and I'm sure I put her off balance with my odd response.
She assured me there were many important things I could be doing, and it was kind of me to make this choice. She and Ben appreciated it.
"Stupid me," I thought, how hard would it be to say, "You're welcome," and leave it at that.
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